How many times do you agree to do a job and then feel resentful that you have given up your time when you really did not want to do it? Saying yes can take the form of speaking actual words or remaining silent when asked and then it assumed that you have agreed.

Do not be fooled into thinking that you are respected for taking on all the jobs you are asked to do. The reverse could be true and people might think you are a door mat that can be walked all over as the mood takes them. Learn to stand up for yourself and your wants and needs too.

Ask yourself if you really need to do the task and/or is it your responsibility. All too often people do tasks that they are not even asked to do and the person who should do it would willing do the task if given the chance!

Keep control of the tasks. If you choice to help someone because you love them or you are compassionate that is fine, your control has not been invaded but do not do it out of duty. It will only lead to resentment.

Be aware of your inner feelings. Tasks should give you pleasure. Even tasks at work should be done because they help you achieve your goals. If a task fills you with resentment then give it back to the person who should be doing it. Be honest with people and tell them how you feel. You do not need to get angry about it. After all you are not shirking your work just asking others to do their work.

Telling someone you do not want to do something often requires courage. Just state that you are sorry you cannot do it but do not go into details or offer excuses. If agreeing to their request would interfere with your health, whether that is physical, mental or emotional, then feel free to giving a reason why you cannot do it. On no account feel guilty for saying no.

It may be necessary to do the job because it is your responsibility. If that is the case then find another way of doing it that does not cause you resentment and eat away at your energy levels.

There maybe occasions when you will have to compromise in order to satisfy both parties. Make sure it does just that. It is a win/win for both sides. If you do not get this you will still feel resentment not only about the job you have to do but also about the fact that you compromised yourself.

Once you have said no to the task let it go from your mind. Do not let it drain any energy from you. The person you have said no to will probably have not given it another thought and found other ways of getting the task done. So you too must forget about it and enjoy the time you have got from not doing the task.

You cannot spend all your life pleasing other people and not pleasing yourself. You have a right to do or have what you want too.